What I'd Rather Be Thinking About Right Now

Let me start by saying I don't assume to speak for everyone with post-club feet - that's why I keep encouraging comments and such, because we all have somewhat different experiences, while at the same time having very much in common. And let me further clarify that the way I have or am experiencing my feet and their effects on my life is, in fact, strictly mine. Though I am finding there is remarkable shared experiences on this issue by many. This is all by way of setting up what follows, so no one reading this thinks I am describing their experiences. However, if you should see similarities, please do let us all know. I sincerely believe that we, as a unique group of people with a unique set of issues, are the ultimate authority on our condition, and in the final analysis, those who most deserve the benefit of open and interactive communication. So, on with the show.

Some of you may have seen a post recently by someone wondering if amputation was a solution to the chronic and often agonizing pain we clubbies tend to live with. While this might seem a really radical solution (and I agree that it is), I also immediately understood where that thought came from - I've had it many times myself. But behind that urge, and in fact for me behind nearly everything and every time I feel my feet ruining my day, lies one overarching, yet seldom consciously thought, desire.

I want to go one day without ever thinking about my feet, from when I wake in the morning, to when I lay down to sleep at night. Scientists, especially those who study the brain, and those who study human consciousness, use a term - mindshare. This basically means the amount of time we allocate to think about any one specific thing over the course of our day. For example, in the news quite frequently these days is the impact cell phones and texting are having on driving safety. Scientists have studied this idea of "multitasking" quite extensively, and have come to believe that multitasking is a myth, in the sense that no one, and let me use their emphasis - no one - does multitasking well, and most people actually do the individual things they do while multitasking more poorly than they do when doing those same tasks individually. Something about walking and chewing gum at the same time, I believe.


I am one of those people who doesn't multitask very well, and I also know why - my painful feet are constantly grabbing mindshare. So adding one, two, three more things is a lost cause - I am already doing two things, constantly - whatever I am doing, plus my feet/pain. This colors nearly everything I do in ways I often come to resent. I don't really LIKE having to remember my "half-way point" when out walking with my wife. Nor do I like saying, "another time, maybe," to friends who want me to go on an outing. Its like being attached at the face with a mirror-image whose sole job it is to nag and rain on my parade.

This awareness, this confession, if you will, does not bring respite. What it does is to keep me always seeking solutions. Which at least has kept me from becoming a drug addict, I suppose. I have had people tell me, after they understand why I am reluctant to go on a romp, they are amazed I am not so addicted - they often say, "well, if anyone does, you sure have the right to be." So sweet, my friends.

But that desire to not have to think about my feet, even for just one day, never really leaves me. To be free at last is, I acknowledge, pretty far-fetched. But a man can dream, can't he? I think about what such a thing, were it to ever occur, would open up for me to better spend my time on. Learn the accordion? Study Italian so I can order with greater authority in my favorite restaurant? Increase my earning potential? Actually get a full night's sleep for once? Who knows?

But at least I'd be able to find out, wouldn't I?


How about you? Do you have mindshare problems, as well?