It's Not Just Us, Clubbies!

Now, some of you out there may be surprised to learn that there are other critters out there who also have club feet:

"Club foot, which may involve one or more of an affected horse's feet, is a flexion deformity caused by fixed contracture of one or several flexor tendons in the leg. The deep digital flexor tendon is usually involved; the superficial digital flexor tendon and suspensory ligaments may also participate in the deforming forces of club foot. When the foot and leg are in upright conformation, the foot axis, which normally averages about 45 degrees, will exceed 60 degrees. If the club foot is diagnosed in a young horse, it is likely either congenital or the result of diet-related problems that affect limb growth. Older horses with club foot probably develop it in response to an injury or other painful condition. The affected horse avoids weight bearing on the painful limb. Disuse of the limb results in contracture of the flexor tendons, which produces the deformity." 

So, when next you have the opportunity to ride a horse, lean down and whisper in his or her ear, "welcome to the club."

However, according to at least one source, the term club foot for this condition is a misnomer.

So-Called Club Foot in Horses

by James R. Rooney, DMV

"So-called “clubfoot” has long been a vexing problem for horsemen, veterinarians, and farriers. The term clubfoot is a misnomer for the condition in the horse and correctly refers only to a congenital anomaly of the human foot. Lungwitz (1910) properly defined and described the condition for the horse. There are three forms:
1. Stumpy hoof. (Figs. 1, 2) This is bockhuf, goat hoof, in German, but will be translated here as stumpy hoof. The hoof angle is greater than normal, 60-90 degrees. The pastern is short or appears so and is usually more or less in line with the hoof axis as seen from the side.
2. Bearfoot. (Fig.1) This is ba¨renfuss in German. The hoof angle is greater than normal, as above, but the pastern appears longer and has a more sloping angle, “...broken strongly forward at the coronet.” Lungwitz(1913).
3. Stiltfoot. (Fig.1) This is stelzfuss in German. It is the extreme or final case of 1. and 2. with the foot supported only at the toe."

It's interesting to see there are different types, just as in human club feet. But I want to propose a very different classification system for human club feet:

1. Stompfuss, or stompfoot, in English. This type of club foot results when over-zealous surgeons have a field day on the affected foot/feet, resulting in a foot with a distinct "stomped" appearance. It also describes the resultant manner of walking, also referred to as "clomping."

2. Ouchfuss, or ouchfoot in English. This type of club foot is distinctive in that it's possessor, or "wearer," is heard to utter "ouch" many times a day. There may of course be variants on the actual utterances, some of course unfit to print in a family-oriented publication such as this.

3. Tenderfuss, or tenderfoot in English, characterized by the appearance of placing the foot very carefully upon the ground with each step. It is also characterized by the owner of such feet often being heard to tell companions, "Its OK, I'll catch up."

4. Yamaguchifuss, or Olympicicefoot, in English. This type is very rare, but embraced as an equal within the highly secretive club foot community, often referred to as "clubbies." Those so afflicted often act to deflect too close scrutiny on the rest of the community, but are often sited as proof of "normalcy" by those of the equally secretive cabal known as "surgeons," not to be confused with sturgeons, as sturgeons have yet to afflict anyone with poorly thought-out fishing techniques.

There may indeed be many different types within the human community, but suffice to say, clubbies tend to refuse classification other than as fully normal and beautiful examples of their species. And who are we to argue with such an elegant response?